The rosy cloud is not automatically by having your (future) baby in your arms. After a week with your newborn baby, you'll realise there is a great strain on your personal wellbeing. Simply put; you need to be in a place of heart, to feel a love and fuzziness towards your child. A picture of your baby might give you more of an “ah how cute” than the actual, real thing! This feeling might be created purposefully when doing a photo shoot, because real life is extremely challenging and sometimes depressing. There are many hours, challenges, responsibilities, changes, and information to process when we become a mother or father, especially as a mother because it is so physically connected to our whole being and wellbeing.
The rosy cloud is a bubble and, the bubble is a chemical state of the brain during pregnancy and postpartum, needing time to wear out and mature, if it ever really does. This bubble expresses itself in many ways; it feels like you belong in a bubble separated from the real, outside world and probably the outside world feels this way about you too.
When a baby has hit the milestone of 6 months and 12 months you can feel more human, more healed, more awake, more capable, less limited by that damn bubble. But until that time, the bubble of pregnancy and postpartum is going to dictate your life.
Be in the now: Becoming a Mother is an excellent time for self-growth, self-actualisations, and even enlightenment. It truly is a spiritual quest and journey. During the pregnancy and early years you have a higher frequency, a spiritual energy, an access to another realm. The baby’s soul is joining you on the life journey and providing you with a direct source of extra consciousness, you are now two souls on one path! How amazing is that? A bubble can reflect many rainbows. This is the time to search for the rainbows among the rain and rainy clouds.
It’s about living a ‘grandma life,’ taking it very slow, drinking teas, and having cakes.
– A Gynaecologist in Brussels on pregnancy
Besides breastfeeding the other main task of baby is learning to bond and communicate, how do you see this process unfolding if you are not there most of the time? Learning to bond and learning to communicate is both an internal and external process. When baby (or adult) communicate or try to communicate they send out a messages from one inner world to another inner world. Communication can be a combination of words, emotions, feelings, body expressions and sounds from the inside world. The response (or no response) that is given from ‘the outside world’ is significant to the response that will be felt on the inside world. We call this conditioning.
Conditioning is the inner dialogue
We have an inner dialogue with ourselves, between ourselves and with the outside world. But in reality there is no outside world. We attach thoughts, feeling and emotions to the outside world, even to people, so in fact we are only communicating with ourselves. This conditioning stays with us for a life time and is always active, we don’t suddenly lose or gain it as adults. It just becomes a stronger conditioning over the years. There is a constant inner dialogue that takes place between you as a grown up person and your small inner child. We can almost imagine there is no actual adult, there is only the inner child up to an age of seven years old disguised in the body suit of an adult. The adult behaves in a certain way, which is conditioned by society, but on the inside there is the seven year old. The inner child being you with the full recording of your childhood up to seven years of age. After that, it does not matter much what we get or don’t get out of life, because we live in unconsciousness until we hit the age of 21 and again at 28 and probably every 7 years thereafter we get a rude wake up call. The subconscious does not and never does stop recording your life as it unfolds before your eyes. It’s exactly like a tape recorder or a videocamera constantly ‘on’.
Growing up away from Mom
How does this relate to growing up in a day care setting? When your baby is in a day care, the baby will have the (unconscious) recording of ‘being at school’ from the age of six weeks. It’s as simple as that. The subconscious cannot differentiate between different possible experiences or states of being or options which perhaps start at the age of 21 or 28 years or even later on. The younger subconscious has only one option: the one it is presented. It simply records whatever is given from the outside as well from the reflections on the inside.
Not having children as an individual or couple should not be considered a taboo neither a selfish decision. In the end, so many other projects and upbringings can be ‘your baby’ and ‘your children’. There are unlimited possibilities and a multitude of opportunities for childless parents and ‘pawrents’.
Maybe life is as simple as being parent of one or more animals and discovering life with and through them. It can be your business, your career, your skill or art that you are dedicated to. It can be your teachings. It can be your dedication to taking care of another individual, child or adult. Perhaps you have adopted children (in your home or elsewhere) or you are considering this thought. How about opening a daycare or a new type of school? Are you an aunt, uncle, teacher or mentor to one or more people? This is amazing! You have all the power to parent.
It can be the expression of you through your lifestyle, preferences and hobbies. It can be you as a traveller, researcher, documentarian, journalist, missionary, volunteer. It can be you the nun, monk or guru. It can be you getting over and transforming your demons, addictions, crimes and coming out of the dark. It can simply be you, being who you are. It can be you of other sexual orientation, without children in your life or harming the children in your life. It can be you the extravagant. You the wanderer. You the yogi. We come from many walks of life. And, we have the choice of choosing an activity.
Why not be a pawrent?
Why not to be a parent?
Consciousness is the opposite process of conditioning. Conditioning doesn’t let room for compassion. Letting consciousness do it’s work (which is life) is flow. Flow. Letting it be. Being. I Am. In the present. The Present. When in consciousness, instead of a thousand judgements and expectations, we accept what is for what is. With respect for what is. All is O.K. Without it really being O.K.
Conditioning and Manipulation
Conditioning is the culture of our society and our family. It is what we have been born into and which we are to adapt ourselves to fit in to, especially to fit in. It’s a pattern of a group which as mammals, we live and love to live by patterns. We cannot escape it, especially from a young innocent age, but as adults we can become more aware of the conditioning. We can start to wake up and be awake. As a next step, we try to externalise it instead of trying to unify with it (to not love it so much any longer). As parents we can be aware of the conditioning we had from our parents or society and break the pattern of trying the same on our children and next generations. We can change our legacy. We can become more intelligent about our body, mind, soul on a systematic and dynamic level. We can create happiness and joy and a good world to live an thrive in.
Being like your parent
Most parents that copy their old conditioning will feel frustrated of ‘being like their parent’. A simple example is a parent with anger and that shouts on their child repeatedly. They remind themselves of their parent that was shouting on them and because they were hurt by their own parent, they relive those same emotions. They are on the other side, but they experience the same pain. It’s not a new emotion, it’s an old emotion. It’s always an old emotion. In consciousness we don’t ride, raise or rise by old emotions, we ride by the conscious wave. You will fall and you should slip and fall, but by remaining conscious, you can get back on your feet and autocorrect what you are doing. Stop shouting, replace it with compassion and flow.
When we fall into our negative thoughts, which usually are the predominant thoughts we have, we dwell in a negative space and everything in life seems to challenge you, especially the: "I am not good enough for that" or not thinking that you actually could or would deserve better than the misery, although you realise that it is "not normal". Life is a challenge in itself as does not abide to "normalcy". It actually is meant to be more easy and fun when surrounded by good company, a good environment helps, and if only we can change our mindset about our inner struggles and the loneliness we suffer from the modern day society.
Have you acknowledged this modern day life which, close to family or not, brings forth an isolated lifestyle? If you can acknowledge the fact that modern life is setup to be isolating, we can also break this isolation no matter how we feel about it. We are often our worst enemy. And the walls of our houses and apartments don't contribute to more connection. By breaking the barriers, we can change the course of our inner lives and automatically our activities will change, new friendships are created, support is found, new ideas come to fruition and you can even find new career paths, business or activities and hobbies.
I watched Her by Spike Jonze, thanks to my husband's initiative and support to watch more movies. The movie is about the human consciousness and relationships through the tech savvy age. It perfectly describes what makes us human, what creates our relationships and what breaks up marriages. If you want to overcome the human struggles for the most part of it, there is a path of enlightenment and fulfilment we can take. Many people have gone through this path and uplift of their human experience when feeling lonely. It requires a deep healing, and mostly it requires a different mindset about our inner world and our daily life on the planet.
Contradictory to the primitive mindset where we dwell in our emotions and thoughts of "I'm not good enough", is to see any emotion as a positive motion forward in your path, more important than anything else to get you to accelerate in your learning and actualisation. Ask questions and share your e-motions with people online and when you are courageous enough offline. Also, start by stating your end mission: "I am good, I am happy". After that, work with the emotions that pop-up to contradict that statement.
Great every day as a new opportunity
Saying a Good Morning to the day ahead, will automatically make you appreciate the fact that it can and will be a GOOD day, no matter what happens or does not happen. No matter what someone says or does or does not say or do. No matter how much stress, work, frustration you experience or how dumbfounded, bored or lonely you get. The lessons in the challenges are ahead and you can be at more peace with yourself as you've learned the lesson to be at more peace with yourself and taking actions forwards to a better fulfilled life and lifestyle. Your most important work is to care for yourself; the inner and outer. Take care of your body, mind and soul and along the way teach others to do the same and meet others half-way. Respect Mother Earth and Father Peace and make little contributions to a better way of life, a better society, a more beautiful humanity. This is your mission.
What is it and is it relevant? We can answer this in 3 steps:
Step 1 YOU: Increasing Consciousness and its Creativity is key to becoming YOU and bringing Peace in your daily life. This is even more crucial for current day parents. Imagine self-feeding, self-disciplining, self-care and problem solving for everyone involved WITH EASE
Becoming a conscious, or awake, person stimulates and increases the Emotional Intelligence (EQ) of that person and his family members (parents and children), which in return brings back the absolute peace to your inner self, your relationships, your work and your home. Unfortunately, we were not taught enough about neither Consciousness nor EQ in schools and our upbringing. We were taught many faulty ideas about ourselves, humanity and our society. You can unlearn these faulty ideas that are hurting you and relearn new ones that will empower you, by staying in touch with your authentic being and waking up to the nature and nurture of things. I can guide you and provoke a rude awakening. I offer you a quick version of education, all the necessary insights, aha-moments and practical tools for a healthy lifestyle so you can make parenting yourself and others easy, more quickly. I started my parenting journey in full consciousness of what it means to take care and parent a baby human being. My extensive years of theory and practice in coaching, healing, health and life's struggles, plus my master degree in Andragogy (science on how adults learn) brought me to a place of full confidence about what humanity looks like. The parenting journey took me on another ride, a deep healing and understanding of parenting oneself and fostering the communication we have with ourself, others and the world at large.Once you grasp the understanding of coaching, healing, health and life, the whole parenting of your little ones and your role in it, becomes clear. A lot of education, therapy, reading, your own extensive research on Google, and pitfalls can be avoided in order to guarantee a healthy and vibrant growth of the human beings you are taking care of.
Step 2 OTHERS: Does my Consciousness affect how I feel, function and parent? And Vice Versa, does it affect my world at small and large? Yes, always! It gives direct access to Health and Happiness.
The (inner) World is not by definition a peaceful place. Whatever you "think" and whatever "works for you" through neglect, force, solitude, anger or grief doesn't actually "work"; it breaks down humanity in yourself and it decreases the Emotional Intelligence (EQ) of humans you come in contact with. It contributes to the fear, hatred and pain of your (inner) child's world and THE possible future you live in. It is time to do "what works" in relation to nature and nurture of our human spirit. The ancient civilisations, Native cultures and the First Nations of the Americas and elsewhere have done this all along. In the modern, fashionable worlds we need to redefine that what we believe in to find a better truth, a better "true", about being human and being alive. We do that as individuals in order to improve our lives. Consciousness carries a different world view and a never ending search for the individual and society to LIVE their truth without fear.
Step 3 MEETING PLACES: Are Peaceful, Conscious, Creative People in homes, schools and companies a realistic goal? Yes! Today it can happen. Let's Get Real and Play!
Consciousness is like our Universe + Emotional Intelligence (U+EQ) and creates the counterpart to misery as we know it. EQ is a great window and tool to developing ourselves and others in a more original, peaceful and soulful person from the very start. Until now, our parenting, schools and often religious places are not designed to teach us much about EQ, Consciousness, neither awareness, personal development or healthy habits. With a higher EQ there would be less problems created and both children, parents, pawrents and others can live more happily. Unhappiness comes from unconsciousness and from emotional blocks (trauma) that are keeping you in a low conscious level. This results in depression, low energy, addictions, abusive relationships and burn-outs at home and at work. I'm here to help you raise your consciousness bars! Both at work and at home.
The Human Child and The Human Parent
\\ This is To Celebrate You \\
You are admired and adored by... me! \
I love what you do and what you don't do \
I admire your determination and creativity \
I adore seeing you happy and I respect when you are sad \
I listen to your problems and solve them with you when you are mad \
I want to be there for you and see what next steps you take \
I'm like your parent, your coach and best friend \ Maybe even a partner in "crime" \
I am side by side on this revolution towards self, love and self-love \
The ultimate purpose, we hold ourselves, to ascend, ascend, ascend \
May the force be with you, step into your light \ Be brave, face the dark and slay the dragons \
The universe has your back \
Lean on me|
Hi Human Blog is for the why's and how to's on Conscious Parenting and my daily encounters. My name is Andromeda, I'm a mother to 2 little boys. I live on an exotic island in the Middle-East called Bahrain, famous for its pearls and springs of youth. My favourite motto is "Don't be led by your problems, be led by your dreams". I'm passionate about Inner Peace, Consciousness, Parenting, Arts and Native Cultures. This blog is an experiment with all that. I also expertise in Mindfulness, Emotional Intelligence and the Power of Now in parenting. I've written a book about my Maiden to Motherhood experience, and baby's full potential in their first year, The Diamond Year, including emotional intelligence, holistic health and body awareness. I believe in a new world with old wisdom and human super powers.